The importance of the first few years: one family's story

From a video by For Baby's Sake Trust

For Baby's Sake provide parents with support to break the cycle of domestic abuse and give their baby the best start in life. ​Here is the story of one family:

The first few years of life are incredibly important. Who you are as a person is largely shaped during these formative years.

Mother: Both my mum and dad probably had their own challenges growing up; certainly, my mum did. Things would be good for a while, then bad, and the cycle would repeat.  I learned to be quiet and keep things inside, escaping into my imagination where I felt alive.

Father: My dad was an alcoholic, very angry, and very depressed. This created a lot of instability in our home. As a teenager, I became a delinquent, stealing cars, selling drugs, and generally making a nuisance of myself.

​Then, we met.

Mother: It was like something out of a movie; our bond turned the world upside down.

Father: Within two months, she was pregnant. We both went into panic mode.

Mother: We stressed about being homeless and pregnant, and where we would get the money. Our arguments became severe, and one day, he put his hands around my neck until I couldn’t breathe.

This led us to the “For Baby’s Sake” program. We entered the programme.

Mother: The practitioner helped me find clarity, even though it triggered me into a very dark place.

Father: We were dealing with domestic abuse, but it didn’t feel like finger-pointing. The therapist was respectful, listened carefully, and helped me come up with practical solutions to work through my self-destructive patterns and make peace with the past.

We put tools in place to keep both of us safe. At every stage, we had someone trained and knowledgeable explaining what our baby was going through. This gave us space to figure out our relationship.

Mother: The programme allowed me to heal and come into myself. It gave me the confidence to be a good mum. Our child has two parents who are committed to being the best they can be.

Father: I can now live a more stable life and have a family. Our son has had the best start in life, something that hasn’t happened in my family for as far back as anyone can remember. It has been life-changing.

Watch this 3 min video: