Preventing Adverse Childhood Experiences and reducing their effects

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The Body Keeps the Score

From a video by Big Think

Psychiatrist Dr Bessel van der Kolk, author of “The Body Keeps The Score”, discusses the widespread existence of trauma and how it manifests in our bodies. Dr van der Kolk has studied trauma for 50 years. Though we once considered trauma exclusive to veterans and people growing up in extreme circumstances, we now know it is an extremely common experience.

In a video, Bessel discusses the impact of trauma and the pathway to healing:


Trauma is so ubiquitous that if you think you have never seen it, you have not looked. We meet people who fly off the handle. We meet people who shut down. We meet people who are very difficult. You know, it is a rare family that doesn't have a drug addict, alcoholic, disturbed person.

One thing I like to ask when I give a lecture is, "Are there any normal people, who come from normal families, in the audience?" And sometimes one or two people raise their hands. I say, "Can I please come to your family for Thanksgiving? Because I've never been to a normal family."

I've treated a whole variety of different traumatized populations, seen trauma in many different countries around the world and it's important for people to realize that not every mental health professional knows what we're talking about here. The mainstream system of psychiatry-psychology is that there is something wrong with you and I need to fix you. That's a very different attitude than dealing with trauma.

Around the time that I first started to work for the Veterans Association, a group of us started to define what trauma is and started to define what happens to people. The Vietnam War was over by about six or seven years. The very first day that I met Vietnam veterans, I was just blown away. They kept referring back to their dead comrades. Their hearts seemed to be with the people who were no longer around. They had a hard time loving their wives and girlfriends. They had a hard time being in any way meaningfully involved in the present. These were guys who were my age, who were smart and competent, but they clearly were just a shadow of their former self.

And what was also really striking is they were sort of passive much of the time. And then people told them something that was disappointing, and they went from zero to and blew up and became extremely angry. Something seemed to have happened to them that made it very hard for them to modulate their responses to their environment.

My colleagues and I started to think about, "How is what these guys suffered from, different from what other people suffer from?" So I dug up a book, "War Stress and Neurotic Illness" that was written in by Abram Kardiner who had been working with World War II soldiers. He wrote, "These guys suffer from a physio-neurosis. Their bodies continue to re-experience that very terrible, frightening situation, and that event keeps coming back in terms of images, behaviours, and physical sensations." So that became the core of our definition of PTSD.

We then supposed, "These people have been exposed to an extraordinary event that's outside of normal human experience." And in retrospect, that shows us how ignorant and narrow-minded we were because it turned out that this is not an unusual experience at all.

Trauma is actually - unlike what we first thought - extremely common.

One out of five women in America has a history of sexual molestation. Even a lot of men have histories of sexual molestation. One out of four kids get beaten very hard by their parents. One out of eight kids see physical fights between their parents. People usually think about the military when they talk about trauma, but when we started to work with inner city kids, the amount of trauma that these kids experienced was just unspeakable. 

The nature of trauma is that an experience enters into your ears, into your skin, into your eyes, and it goes down into a very primitive part of your brain that automatically interprets what's going on. Is this dangerous or is this safe? An event becomes traumatic when there is nothing you can do to stave off the inevitable and your body starts automatically going to the state of fight/flight or collapse.

The lingering effect of trauma is that you continue to react to mild stressors as if your life is in danger. And so you tend to become hyper-reactive. Somebody may irritate you in the supermarket. You may develop road rage. You may have a difficult time putting up with misbehaviour from your spouse or your kids. And most people actually are barely aware or not aware at all that their reactions that they're having right now are actually rooted in experiences that they've had before. That event itself is over, but you continue to react to things as if you're in danger.

So the big challenge of treating trauma is how do we help people to live in bodies that feel fundamentally safe?

The tradition in mental health is to dismiss the reality of people's lives. For example, it's only in the past few years that people are beginning to talk about the impact of poverty or the impact of racism or the impact of unemployment. And people have sort of been labelling people, "Oh, there something wrong with you. Let me fix you." If you go to a physician or a mental health practitioner who doesn't understand that, they're going to try to fix you with drugs or cognitive behavioural treatment to not do these crazy things anymore. It usually doesn't work very well.

What was very clear is that being in a relationship where people can hear you. Where you can talk about how badly you feel. Where you can talk about your guilt. And where you can start opening up where these feelings come from, how old these feelings are, and how you develop these feelings in response to particular things that happen to you, that was actually quite helpful because you need to really develop a deep sense of, "This is what happened to me. This is what I'm dealing with, and I need to take care of the wounds that I'm carrying inside of myself."

This issue of self-compassion and really knowing that your reactions are understandable and are rooted in you getting stuck in the past is a terribly important part of beginning to recover from trauma. Most of us are survivors of one thing or another, some much worse than others.

I want our society to know about trauma and to really do all the things that are necessary so that people who grow up under adverse conditions can develop a brain and a mind that can help them to become full fledged members of society. That's our big issue, and that's the big challenge that we have.


Watch this 8 min video:
 

 

 

From a video by Big Think, 29/10/2025
Glenys
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Planning your Visit

A Warm Hello 

The following information is specifically for those planning a visit, so that you know, beforehand, what to expect on a Sunday morning.

Where and When

We meet at the Church Building (details here) for our Sunday Service starting at 10am. For your first visit, we recommend arriving 10-15 minutes early to ensure you get a parking space and find somewhere to sit before the service begins. When you arrive, you should be greeted by someone on our Welcome Team who will be wearing a Welcome lanyard.

We serve tea, coffee and biscuits from 10am, before the service begins. It is a great way to meet people, or simply take time to find your bearings. All refreshments are free.

Accessibility: There is wheelchair access, and a sound loop for anyone who needs it. Please let one of the Welcome Team know on your arrival and they will help you to get set up. There are disabled toilets in the main foyer.

Our Service

The main service begins at 10am with a warm welcome from one of our team members. Then follows a time of sung worship, led by our band. We typically have 2 or 3 songs lasting approximately 20 minutes. Sometimes a person might pray out loud or read a small passage from the bible. Sometimes people share things that they believe God is saying to the whole church family. This might seem strange the first time you hear it but it’s all part of our connecting with God. We then share news and notices, usually about what’s going on in the life of the church. One of our leaders will then give a sermon that is bible based and that we can apply to our everyday life. We then finish with a final worship song. Sometimes there is an opportunity to receive prayer at the end of the service.

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What about my kids?

We have a great programme lined up for kids of all ages:

  • Creche (0 months to 3 years). Children under 6 months are welcome but must be accompanied by their parent/grown-up at all times.
  • Livewires (3-7 years)
  • Encounter (7-11 years)
  • Katalyst (11-15 years)
  • Young people (15+ years) Stay in service.

Children stay with their parent or grown-up at the start of the service for the welcome, songs and notices. We really value worshipping God all together as a family. At the end of the notices someone will announce that it’s time for the younger members to go to their various groups. You will need to go with your children to their groups and register them as part of our child safety policy. Whilst you are dropping your kids off at their groups, we pause to take time to chat to someone sitting near or next to us, giving folk a chance to come back before the sermon begins.

The kids group activities vary depending on the age but usually there is a friendly welcome, bible stories, testimonies, praying, music, craft, drama, fun games and free play. Please pick your children up as soon as the service finishes.

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Getting Connected


Small Groups

While Sundays are a great way to meet new people, it is often in smaller gatherings that you can really get to know someone. Being part of one of our small groups allows you to make new friends, share together and support each other. We have a variety of groups that meet throughout the week, some afternoons and some evenings. Check out Small Groups and see if there’s one that you could join, or we can put you in touch with a small group leader who will be more than happy to invite you along to their group.

Serving and Volunteering

If you want to get involved in the life of the church and help us make Sundays run smoothly, you can sign up to serve on a team. 

Other Ministries

We also run the following ministries:

  • Men's Ministries
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  • Night Shelter
  • Foodbank
     
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